Soshite chichi ni naru そして父になる [movie]

What's wrong with this picture...

I have to review this movie for an assignment in my Japanese class so I thought seeing as that's my thing, that's what I do, I should do it here first to collect my thoughts before I try to write a rant in Japanese. I wont be translating this, I don't write in English and translate into Japanese for my assignments because that's a really bad way to write, I just write straight into Japanese. I just want to get some of my more ranty thoughts down here first before I write my actual piece because I have some thoughts that I might want to omit from that... like all my anger and frustration. 

Let me outline the premise before I completely lose my shit.

Two families are told that the 6 year old sons they have raised are not biologically theirs; switched at birth by a negligent hospital. Although the mothers have bonded with their sons it is clear that the father of one has not. He is the head of an affluent household, pushing his son to be more than he is capable, never feeling his son lives up to his name, and on hearing the news from the hospital, he understands the situation as making sense; of course this boy is not his real son after all. The other family is less well off, with a fun and down to earth father at the helm. Although this father seems concerned with a payoff from the hospital rather than switching the children back, the discussion ultimately begins.

This movie brought up a lot of issues, it deals with a subject that is not going to be easy from the outset, but I was a little angry with people's reactions in other reviews, and just weirded out by the way no one commented on the things that I noticed above anything else. 

I spoke at length with Cami-chan about this, and we came to the conclusion that people take movies a little at face value and don't internalise them the way I do, or they at least suspend reality a bit, which would be completely fair enough if that were the case. But if fans of movies can get so intense about the things they think of as wrong with the physics of super hero movies and the lack of realism in romantic comedies, then why the hell did reviewers not pick up on the one sided portrayal of family bonding in this movie?

Well, that's just it. I think that the film makers were obviously showing this from one family member's side, and it really only focused on his lack of bond, and didn't really explore from another angle. But I felt like that was so cold and ridiculous in a way. Now, I know that they probably think this issue, in a sense, would be much more likely in Japan, where the bonds of blood are traditionally so important, but also they have a very understanding view of adoption, where its much more commonplace there than in the western world and the family register is just a document you can be signed onto. So what the fuck? I understand the context but you wouldn't give up a child you have spent 6 years with. You just wouldn't. The mothers in this movie wouldn't. If it was a real context. Why did no reviewers pick up on this? There was no realistic struggle to keep the child they bonded with. I cant reconcile these issues. 

I can see how audiences might believe the minor torment the mothers seemed to have in giving up their children (not much at all in comparative terms to reality but whatever) but I can't understand why reviewers in western countries let this just go, especially when they had no context for Japanese culture... I mean, is that it? Japan is so 'other' that they think they would be so traditional that they could give up their children of 6 years? Guess so. I just cant believe people would do it so easily. I don't believe Japanese people are 'so' traditional that they would see things so callously and their doctors would not comment on the mental health of the children. 

And yes, I think the movie's portrayal was easy compared to how I would see it happen in reality. The doctors mention nothing of the child's mental health in terms of the damage it would do to give him up after 6 years of bonding, they merely say they should do it sooner rather than later... but it is way too late!! 6 years is way too late! I mean, do doctors in Japan no nothing about human development and psychology? Of course not. They would know that the effects of giving up a child after 6 years and throwing him into another family would have devastating effects on his mental health. Irreparable. I don't find this realistic at all. Do I give them more credit than they deserve..?

Because what is even more bonkers, is that this actually happens in real life. And even with once switched at birth grown adults, they discuss whether they should switch back. With adults?? Why are you even discussing this? You live your whole life with those people as your children, as after 30 years or so you 'decide' not to switch back when you find out they aren't biologically yours... Are you crazy? Are you actually fucking crazy? I can't even slightly understand this. They are yours, and have been all that time. There is no decision not to switch, you are just a family already. Shut the f*ck up.

Yeah this pisses me off. This really really pisses me off. Its mostly that the doctors were not portrayed as caring for the children in a medical way at all, and the mothers did not fight to keep the children they have loved for 6 years. I understand we would see it as the film showed, if we just look through the  one father's eyes, but we don't. We see all the other characters, and don't see them struggle with this. I'm sorry, but what we see of the sad mothers is not a struggle. They don't fight this. This would have broken up my marriage; if my husband wanted to give away my child. Look at it black and white, that is what is happening here. 

What about the other family? They didn't just refuse. Why?

The more I think about it the more annoyed I get. 

This concept is nonsensical to me. Absolutely stupid. 

This movie won so many awards, as movies that tackle difficult subjects often do. I no longer hold award winning movies in high regard on that basis alone, if I ever did before, I always watch before I judge, because things like this happen. I will rewatch it again today, and see if I pick up on anything else that eases my distress, but I really just hate it more and more the more I think about it.

Such a great cast, the two women from Saikou no Rikon who I adore more with every subsequent drama of theirs I watch; Ono Machiko and Maki Yoko, and the two fathers played by Fukuyama Masaharu (Galileo) and Lily Franky. The kids are also great; Ninomiya Keita and Hwang Shogen both had very difficult roles to convey but did so perfectly. 

The scene where the boy from the other family apologises for wanting to go home to his parents... says it all. He loves them, and has to say sorry for that. What a terrible thing to do to a child, to make him feel sorry for loving his parents. I mean what the hell are you doing to those children??

I just don't know what the hell to think. I have in the back of my head a voice that tries to say  'but in a situation for real you never know how you will feel' but then I realise that its only saying what I think its supposed to be saying. Its not really the voice of reason at all. The voice of reason says 'you'd have loved your child, and would have done for 6 years, you wouldn't you even consider it.'

Maybe because I didn't watch this alone, but in a room full of people, I didn't absorb it the way I usually would have, and missed some important emotional journey. But I don't think so. I was fighting back tears all the same, no matter how many people there were in that room I was still intently watching that movie expecting to see, at anytime, one of the characters stand up and say 'no way am I giving up my child!' and that be it.

I think in a way this film serves to tell us, look what will happen. Even if you try to give up your child you will never get over it and it will never be ok. So learn from this, and realise your bond is what you created over time, not by the accident of birth.

You don't choose your family. That is the phrase isn't it? That isn't because of the blood tie though. Its simply that you don't choose who others turn out to be as people. Your bond is there, and you grow with them, no matter what. The thing you actively choose is whether to support them or throw them out like trash. If your child turns out to be gay, or suffer from a crippling neurotic disorder, or is just a bit academically stupid, you cant have an opinion about whether that is preferable or not. You are not your child, you just love them. That's your only job; to love and protect, care for and raise your child, whoever the hell that is. If you spent 6 years doing your job properly, then you wouldn't care whose womb they came from, or what person they're going to become, as long as they are safe and happy. 

I guess the whole focal point of this movie is that the father didn't do that job well, therefore he didn't care. That is the real issue they want to discuss, so I understand not focusing on any part of the issue I'm raising, but for no-one else to notice this and comment on it, leaves me a bit disappointed in humans yet again.

Unfortunately that is all I've taken away from this film.

~

Saikou no Rikon 最高の離婚 [drama]

Kondo wa, sunao ni nareru...

What a soul destroying drama. On a level with Sunao ni Narenakute, this one was hard to watch. Mainly because it was too close to home, but if anyone has had any sort of troubled relationship then this is going to feel familiar. Its just too real. Its not even melodrama like Sunao, its so real... Their conversations are too frank, and it burned through both my friend and I each time a new argument or new situation came up.

Don't be fooled by the blurb. This is not a comedy! And when do I ever use exclamation marks.

I wanted to watch this for the cast. Ayano Gou and Eita primarily, but also came to really love the two women... 

I'm getting ahead of myself. Have a cast list first, then we'll talk.

Cast:

Eita - Mitsuo

Ono Machiko - Yuka 

Maki Yoko - Akari

Ayano Gou - Ryo

Kubota Masataka - Junnosuke

Otani Eiko - Shiori

Serina - Nana

Ok so back to the ranting about the cast. 

Oh and side note, sorry for my awful screen shots this time. Had to use online stream because I deleted my files.

I've never seen Ayano look as cuddly as he did in this drama as Ryo. I still wanted to curl up and sleep in his hair even though its all short this time, and that dazed and bewildered look in his eyes reminded me of something very uncomfortable to remember but he made it into something much more tangible than purely just being lost and apathetic. He absolutely made this drama for me.

Eita was bumbling and cute and frustratingly annoying as his perfect portrayal of Mitsuo - no-one but Eita could have possibly made this character likable. Just no-one. He was another character far too close to home, we happen to still be living that story so its far too uncomfortable to really deal with but the whole thing was very cathartic in a way. More so that even Sunao. Mitsuo 's issues and stuborn nature make you resent him, but he is just as lost as anyone else.

The wonderfully weird Machiko chan, a complete carbon copy of Mizukawa Asami, was adorable and mixed up, free spirited but completely torn as Mitsuo's wife Yuka. She went through every emotion possible throughout this drama. She played a part my friend seems to be living right now and it was so uncomfortable... but you know, they dealt with everything so sensitively that I really think the drama and their unquestionably perfect performances helped us come to terms with a few things.

Lastly, Maki Yoko as Akari. She had and Ryo held the most pain for me personally, I internalised all their issues and lived a little vicariously through their closure. Akari was beautiful and strong but falling apart at the seams silently. Maki is so wonderful to watch. Not just her appearance but her voice, her mannerisms, everything about her was stunning. Akari was hopeless and determined, a complete contradiction throughout, a complete slave to her feelings. 

These four carried a wonderful story, woven in and out of their bickering and gossiping, complaining and ranting to all and sundry. 

There are just too many points that ring true about this drama. From start to finish it echoes real life and relationships and every episode is a fresh punch in the face to anyone who struggles to know which side of their own arguments they are on... as most of us are when we argue with the ones we love.

This is a serious drama for me. Not a comedy. I laughed a lot, Eita was comical, and Ayano was so adorable sometimes I squeaked. But on the whole, this was more tears than anything else.

We marathoned this in a night and the following afternoon. We had to stop for a while and take a walk. It wasn't the most comfortable drama we could have chosen. Correction - I could have chosen. And it was definitely my choice. But all in all I think it did us both some good, although it wasn't what I was aiming for.

This isn't full of unrequited love, suicide and domestic violence. Its very tame in comparison to some dramas I've seen. But I think this was so real, so exactly how life is, that it shocked us a little. 

Their acting is so good. Seriously so good. Unwavering, unbreakable. Completely compelling and I loved all four of them so much I was desperate for things to just work out ok in the end. Word of warning - the special is a bit of a sad addition to the show... 

Looking back now I think it was right, but I felt like it was a little too much to have it end that way after putting up with so much watching them all fight through their issues... 

I wont spoil it, you come to your own conclusions. It makes sense to me now, I think it must be the only way it could be.

All of it is a little like that actually. It all was the only way it could be for those people. For people who talk everything out, lay their cards bare on the table, things move on. It hurts, but it moves on. 

Most dramas feature too much unsaid pain, which is also true to life to a certain extent 

but in Saikou no rikon they snap, they complain to each other, and they fight, they endlessly fight. 

Its a direct mirror of my house lately, it hurts to see it reflected back on me, but it certainly gives me some perspective. 

Relationships are so selfish, they seem to be about what we want from them, not what we can do for the other person. They certainly end that way even if that is not how they start. The respect, the empathy, the desire to be someone better for the other person... all flies out the window and is replaced with bitterness, a sense that you are somehow owed something, and a demand for your own space, your own dreams, your own petty ideals to be met.

Its all gone a bit super serial serious face, but I got so much from this drama. I cant take on this angst in the house anymore, its petty and pathetic. Its causing a million times more damage than it is changing anything. I cant listen to it anymore. Love is complicated. Love is selfish. Love sometimes isn't even love. 

You know, if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. Its as simple as that. 

Once you've gone through all the complexities and learned all your lessons and it still goes wrong then cut your losses and run.

But the main point is, no one has to be the bad guy. No one has to have all the blame. There doesn't have to be any blame.  

Being too scared to look inward and question your own actions you blame everyone else. Fearful that if you don't you will only blame yourself. 

But surely its possible to move on from that? That love you had doesn't just disappear surely? If it does then what kind of a person does that make you? You need to get over yourself and be a better person for those around you, no matter how you think they wronged you. 

No-one is in the wrong, we are all just trying, failing, succeeding, all at different rates. 

But we don't communicate, we just blame. We cant do that and be happy. Especially while that usually means spending all your time blaming someone else for your unhappiness. 

Well, yeah. A lot of things got dragged in and out of the mud during this drama and its a shame the issues in my own house cant be solved in 12 episodes and a special. But if we all snap, I'm going to try and remember that it will bring change. And that is what we need here. 

Saikou no rikon reminded me that the only way to change these awful situations is to not bury them and sit with them under our feet. No-one grows that way.

In this review I hope I explained how it affected me without putting you off. 

I feel like everyone has some connection to the things in this show, and you could gain a lot by watching it. 

It is moving, superbly acted and directed, well paced and thoughtful. 

I also want to give a little squee for Kubota Masataka who turned Kamen Teacher from an awful cheapo drama into a semi believable moving story with all his acting with his eyes stuff and genuinely looking pretty hard. Impressed with him right now, and he plays a sweet character in this drama who befriends Yuka while she is going through her troubles. His character is very understanding and caring, unexpectedly so, and adds another level to the complicated friendships formed around the main four.

So to conclude, for all its cringingly honest portrayals of complicated relationships, there is much to reflect on in a positive light. 

I do think it is worth watching, and it definitely surprised me. 

...Just don't be fooled by it calling itself a comedy.

~

Shibuya 渋谷 [movie]

well who wouldnt want Ayano Gou to come and save their life...

Cast:
Ayano Gou 
Satsukawa Aimi 
Saito Takumi - cameo 

Director Nishitani Shinichi (Kyokuhoku Rhapsody)

There is not a lot to say about this movie, I mainly wanted to put something pretty on my front page that wasn't SHINee like it has been for months now. I get hardly any time to write on here at the moment. 

So in my current obsession with Ayano Gou I thought I would chuck a quick movie review up here. 

I fell asleep through Gatchaman for the millionth time so Shibuya it is.

This movie is gorgeous and slow and quiet. It plays like a secret moment caught by accident on camera, and we happen to see it. I feels like a snapshot that wasn't meant to be seen.

I hoped my screen shots would do it justice, but as they definitely capture how stunning Ayano is every second he exists, it doesn't convey the quiet sadness of watching the actual movie. 

It is sweet and pretty much non eventful, full of long conversations with a minimal cast. 

I have gone a little bat sh*t with the screen shots but every time I paused it was a perfect one, even if only seconds from the last.... 

So instead of argue with myself I have put them all in the review.

This movie was from 2010 when Ayano still had his epic curl-up-and-sleep-in-my hair, and I think Satsukawa was cast on the basis of her eyes alone.

Between his furrows of worry and her teary eyes I think they had the makings of an art house movie in the bag. 

They didn't fall too far into that trap though. 

I believe it stayed in the realms of reality and didn't allow its head to get sucked up its pretentious ass like arty films so often do. 

It stayed in this nice middle ground, cross between land, of beautiful and thoughtful, but stylish and non self explanatory. 

Unfortunately there seem to be no English subs for this anywhere. And it is a wordy one. 

If you don't understand Japanese then you wont follow the story - everything comes from their conversations, all the context comes from their heart to hearts, and through their tearful revelations to each other we find their stories open out. 

It doesn't explain a huge back story, but just enough to let these two people who only just found each other, come to terms with their issues.

Ayano plays a photographer who is trying to write an article about girls in Shibuya. 

The girl he searches for obviously has a story behind her, and he is driven by concern and intrigue alike in finding out what that story is. 

Ultimately coming to terms with his own past they reluctantly share their stories with each other and move on. That is pretty much it in a nutshell. Nothing further than that, nothing less. Some quiet encounters and some eventual closure. 

There is really not much more to say past that.

Hardly anything happens throughout but her charm and his worried face become compelling. 

I could have watched them crying in the shower together for an age, which is good because that scene is longer than it would usually be in a movie...

Everything about their short friendship...can I call it that? I don't know, but everything about it is perfectly placed and subtle. Its a lot of acting with eyes - you know that thing I love, and long emotional conversations slowly breaking them down so they can rebuild themselves again.

Now I'm watching the special of Kamen Teacher, so much in contrast to Shibuya. This whole drama has been ridiculous from start to finish but great in a weird way all the same. Feels weird to go from this lovely movie to... Kamen Teacher.

Ayano is an absolute pleasure to watch... I must have seen him in about 5 things recently, hopefully I will get around to reviewing them. I've just got some more of his dramas ready to start so maybe there will be a few squees on twitter and tumblr when I watch them. 

Saikou no Rikon was too emotional to squee through, Heaven's flower or whatever the hell it was called on the other hand was basically just an excuse to watch Ayano fly around ninja style as Shion with fantastic hair and a brooding moody face. 

I had not seen Satsukawa in anything before, she looks a little unusual - its nice to see a pretty face in a very un-doll-like way for a change. She was raw and vulnerable and honest. It really is lovely and sweet. 

If you can understand enough to watch without subs or you can find subs then I recommend having a little secret affair with this movie. 

~