No it isn’t gay pride, although I can see why you might be confused…
News pacific tour, Tokyo Tokyo
Explodes into life with Week on the scaffolding. news looking like the spangliest builders that ever lived or a really new interpretation of rent. (I actually want massu’s yellow tracksuit.)
Lots of running from one end of the stage to the other and jumping up and down - The usual - for the next few songs then up on the scaffolding again for Cinderella boy, the scaffolding by the way is sailing through the audience and has a massive tv screen in it - how cool is that?
Now they are suddenly all blue-pirate-cosplay for kibou. Army combats and electric blue shiny pirate coats… hmm. Ok. How is it that it actually works? Only those guys could pull it off I guess.
This is gonna turn out to be a review of their wardrobe isn’t it? It is the first thing you notice about news no matter what they’re doing. I have to say that their singing during the pacific tour is great, it has brilliant production anyway (overlaying vocals is a great way to still be able to sing live but not sound sh*t) but also they do know how to work a stage. And make a lot of noise. Really a lot.
Up on the scaffolding again for stand up and change the world, and it is moving about all over the place – Tokyo dome is f*cking huuuuuuuuuuuge. Good god it really is massive.
Hard not to have stage presence when you’re dressed like you fell out of a fancy dress shop backwards with pyrotechnics and 30 young Japanese dancing minions in tow.
Yamapi is suddenly all white suited and showing off his version of 'dancing' with his solo Gomen ne, Juliet and then takes a little scooter platform out through the audience. I only take the p*ss out of his dancing because it makes me cringe so much. Not because it is bad. It isnt bad, i just feel like i should hide when he does it.But anyway, for his bit here he does all manner of Yamapi things like getting slightly undressed, not looking out of breath at all even though he is thrashing around like he's on heat, and having a fountain erupt around his podium - that is not just an appropriate euphemism - it is very gay stage show types of brilliance in all its glory. Im sure he has had a few fountains errupt around his podium in his life time. *ew serious rei, you d*ck, was there any need?*
Everyone is red for ai no matador (as you would expect) and koyama looks like he’s auditioning to be a table dancer or something (I try to ignore the pervy lyrics but theyre making it every bit more cringetastic by wriggling around like that) mind you singing about one night stands and passion etc is never as creepy coming from news as, like, if akanishi was there or something. I’d have gone and made coffee I think.
This is the dance bit where you get to take full advantage of tegoshi and massu being actually fantastically good at what they do. One on each scaffolding thing doing devil or angel – then we cut to koyama looking like some weirdo with his aviators on for like 30 seconds then suddenly theyre gone again, and shige and yamapi taking it all very seriously, then roro just being awesome.
The mash up of that and shock me is pretty damn good – it really really f*cking is cracking. But when the camera pans back a bit it does look a bit like the rent stage show again (I giggled when I imagine tegoshi dressed up like mimi singing take me ouuuuut tonight flingin his high heels about)
But there’s not much time to catch your breath and laugh at that cos koyama does his private parts *ahem* I mean - private hearts solo (still dressed in the shiny red stuff) dancing like your brother’s mate that you never realised was hot until you saw him in a club one night, then just as that ends I die completely as the pace changes drastically for nantoka naru sa because massu actually looks phenomenally adorable and I miss half of the song searching around the floor trying to find heart cos it totally just jumped out of me and threw itself at the tv – when the fuck did koyama get changed?! Ehh? Jeeze. Man, massu can smile for Japan
Shige gets his Les Paul out (plus a funky crown ??) for his solo happy music. He is one cheesy mother f*cker. No words can explain. really all i can do is attempt screen shots. But he never stays still for more than half a second, it is always hard to get non blurry shots of him.
Then the rest of them come out all white like yamapi was ealier (plus a few feathers and spanglies) for dreams.
Theyre out on the podium scooters and congregate in the middle for hoshi o mezashite – standing on these great f*cking crazy high Eifel tower bits of the floor with a big ass fountain kicking off around them. Genius staging for a song where their choreography is just a bit of odd sign language and nothing else.
Fiesta is fun though they don’t do much even though theyre back on terra firma – I guess they never know when that crazy floor is gonna go sky high on em again. Nande dame is spent floating around the crowd and wandering about with half of arashi (why?? … It looked like they just broke in. someone tell nino to get off the stage and go sit out in the snow)
Sayaendou – silver and shiny. Love this. Truly. And they sounded fully great. (I still think they shouldn’t let anyone but tegomass dance tho) I was impressed with their singing and sayaendou shows it off as it should.
Of course they perform News Nippon. Still silver and shiny. And for the next song shige and massu cant even be bothered to stand up any more. They do bits of songs so they can cram a load together, I forget which ones at this part. They do snow express in full tho. While they are still appropriately silver and shiny.
Yay, then tegomass are up again while the others just sit about watching their two friends cute each other out and send boy love looks to each other. Those two generally always look like they’re singing to each other pretty much all the time. Its even funnier still being silver and shiny.
Randomly everyone is suddenly in crazy ass coats for yamapi’s daite senorita, a song which the whole band clearly adore,
then yamapi and roro do seishin amigo (which kinda works more than with kamenashi but then ryopi have been singing together for an age)
then kanjani’s zukkoke otoko michi these are all chopped up tunes slammed together to fit em all in. I have to say yamapi looks at home dancing to this YMCA reminiscent tune.
(and I don’t know why massu was suddenly on the floor!!!)
Koyashige get their perv on and ryopi do their backing dancer bit (ryo looking way too happy to be singing such stupid lyrics – its all that time in kanjani that’s done it)
and I don’t know why they follow that with tegoshi’s solo ai nante – very slow and soppy, but who cares – shut up, tegoshi’s singing!! It is a gorgeous song and what a voice that guy has. And yep he gets three pics in a row for being so great.
Seriously dont know where that voice comes from. I'm starting to think he may well be the evil genius or devilish god like creature that everyone suspects him to be.
Purple and shiny now for kimi omou yoru, these guys know how to be serious about their clothing. Mabushii. I’m going f*ckin blind from this show though.
Ah, but then roro changes pace with code, which you CANNOT not love. I feel sorry for his throat – I think shige shouldve come and done some back up shouting with him. I always think roro looks most at home with a guitar in his hands. Considering how shagged his voice was by this point he sings beautifully. Makes me sick.
Vibration sees the introduction of the ALMIGHTY checked coats. God I love those. Love them just singing about each other – hang on – singing? That’s a bit strong a word for this tune. But it is a great excuse for those coats. I f*cking want one. I think I want tegoshi’s.
still in the coats for akaku moyuru taiyou, which is in fact an Ibiza anthem – so it doesn’t really go with the wardrobe – but nevermind. Rather those epic masterpieces than whatever Ibiza clubbers wear – beach shorts and vomit? I definitely saw tegoshi and shige tickling each other and run off giggling – don’t really get that in Ibiza . It would have been more like tego-nyan getting vomited on by some weirdo in a cow costume while shige was passed out on top of him baring the new tattoo on his arse that reads ‘party herd’. I think my image of ibiza clubbing is kinda warped but never mind.
I see it is almost the end, then koyama comes out to say goodbye looking like he killed a swan prince and stole his identity. Cherish brings the rest of them out and yep, they all have the swan issue as well. Right now, I don’t have neighbours, but I move in a few days, then this will be slightly inappropriate to have at this volume. I’ve just thought of it because oyaji is putting pond weed in the pond right outside my door and can obviously hear this -though he’s used to the weird stuff I like, but what are my neighbours gonna think of me?
There are soooo many fountains in that studio! They all say their thanks and do all the “scream for news” bit while the pyro fountains go huge and that’s your lot.
All in all, it was fairly epic, any fool could see that.
(Mwah ha ha - But not a patch on things to come! If they hadn’t had their first tours as such huge shows they might not have had to resort to elephants and such, later down the line. (^_^) Aish I f*cking love tegomass.)
Bam and that is your lot. Epic and genius amounts of cheese but also skillful and all the other things that make lowly untalented people want to die. Fun fun. It took bloody ages to load all these f*cking shots in one by one. damn it. Still, maybe it was my fault for taking over 45 of the f*cking things. carried away much? Well, yes. but it was impossible not to. Have one more.
~
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