trouble man トラブルマン [series]

Get the funky life!

This has got to be the weirdest series I’ve seen so far – and I'm watching Arakawa for f*ck’s sake. It is no surprise really – it is directed by Sabu so what the f*ck do you expect right? It took me about four episodes to get into it but it spirals so out of control that I just couldn’t help but become hooked.

Trouble man is the oddly overlapping stories of six people linked together by bizarre and unfortunate circumstances and in the center of it all is our favorite little hedgehog Kato Shigeaki of News. He plays our main character Tokuda, a man surrounded by relentless unbelievable trouble and misfortune.

These people are lashed together by their woes and eventually we get to see how all their stories link together. It gets progressively more complicated and twisted up but still all I can do is imagine Shigedgehog with a curly perm (it is suggested at one point and I just couldn’t let it go)

Cast:

Tokuda - Kato Shigeaki

Ozaki - Takezai Terunosuke

Makiko - Iwasa Mayuko

Kameda - Nakayama Yuichiro

Tagawa - Riju Go

Sasaki - Kino Hana

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Asai Akira - Terajima Susumu

Kita Kenji - Kunimoto Shoken

Kagawa Ryo - Ogura Takeshi

There is a lovely little cameo of lead actor and main character from postman’s blues (Another sabu film) and really it just adds to the surreal feel of the series. It is already bonkers but by episode nine there is nowhere to run from the intelligently tangled storylines.

It wasn’t hard to get such decent screen shots, the whole thing is filmed so skillfully and looks so arty that you could stop an episode anywhere at random and it could be the makings of a movie poster.

There are lots of Shige-running-like-a-mad-man scenes, for which I’m eternally grateful, and all the characters get a chance to be fully explored so that there isn’t a week one in the bunch. There are some great arthouse-movie style shots in true Sabu form, and it is full of humour that is sometimes completely inappropriate to laugh along with but you just can’t help it – again, true to Sabu form.

Who the hell ever allowed Shigedehog to be in a Sabu production? I nearly died a million times from his nervous laughter and the shocked faces he pulled. If it wasn’t so funny I would say it could have been some noir-ish gangster movie, especially when we see our little Shigedgehog get pummelled half to death and then apologise for being alive…

But seriously, the constant *…eeeeehhhhh?!* resounding chorus from all and sundry, especially when coming from Shige’s exhausted confusion, was constantly squeal-worthy humour.

And there is a short scene where he is cooking in episode 10, ruku-chan I swear you will totally fan girl ureshii squee over that for no real comprehensible reason. And I noticed he has the straightest nose ever. And always slightly floofy hair. But anyway, enough ranting about Shigedgehog.

I think I lost the plot about the time Marcus the toy monkey started dancing for Tokuda in the paper stock room. It is nutty but a brilliantly paced series and I really had no idea where the hell it was heading at any point. And to top it all off you have that f*cking theme tune bursting in at the end of a really serious episode, News start happily squarking bollocks that sounds like get a f*cking life – im telling you it fully does and their cheesy ass “singing” jars against the savage events of the program. News make me laugh. And prey tell, what is this funky life and how does one obtain it? If News’ wardrobe and choreography is anything to go on then I believe it maybe related to some psychotropic drugs. Can’t help but love those lads.

Uwaa! I have the best idea! Sabu should direct one of News’ stage shows! Oh my f*cking god that would actually be one of the best things to ever happen in the universe. Can you imagine it?!  I’m thinking it is the only way I’m gonna get roro in a big ass dai kaiju cockerel costume. That sh*t would work if Sabu did it.

So think 8uppers crossed with alice in wonderland as the wardrobe, the love child of lady gaga and rage against the machine for the lyrics, fusion of takeshi’s castle and the crows zero movies for the set design, and you have yourself a News concert directed by Sabu. Wicked! I’ve fallen completely off point here haven’t I…

Fa fa funky time!

Mune odoru ne

Nankai na jinsei mo isso tanoshime

Ba ba burning heart

Donna toki mo

Zenryoku zenkai ima koso

Get the funky life!

Yeah you f*cking know it.

 

Run Shigedgehog, run!

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Gamera the brave 小さき勇者たち～ガメラ [movie]

just gimme the damn stone kid or im gonna take you with me! Bakuhatsu! - damn it.



Having watched my fair share of daikaiju movies recently with the original lot of Gojira and Gamera from the 1950's and 60's, I thought I would check out the newest version of Gamera from 2006 *fan fair* do do do do! Gamera the brave!!! *put sock back in the trumpet*

I thought they did pretty well with this - they stuck to the whole thing of Gamera being a friend of the children and all that stuff, they mentioned his past sacrifices for human kind, and somehow children just all randomly knew how great he is and expected him to save the day etc etc - just like the previous movies

(though we dont talk about the gamera vs guiron debarcle. god that was bad. and super monster gamera... well it's more 80's than should be legal, lets forget that one too.)



Gamera this time round comes complete with a cute face and smaller size, and a big ass scarey enemy in the shape of the usual lizardy dinosaury type angry faced b*stard. 

We meet Gamera as a little hatching baby turtle - when you see a little baby turtle flying about with rocket launchers blazing out of his limb holes, run the f*ck away - it means Gamera is needed for some impending sh*t and soon you should expect a big f*ckin' lizard lord!


So some little kid looks after the baby turtle as it grows into this mammoth great thing, the kid still all the time defiantly refusing to believe it is Gamera, all hell breaks loose when the big f*ckin' lizard lord starts running about eating people and stamping all over the place squashing buildings as you do when you're a daikaiju lizardy thing.


Some girl friend of the kid is in hospital and has Gamera's red egg thing, he needs it back because he is getting fully floored by the big f*ckin' lizard lord, as usual the grown ups are all pretty useless so she cant do anything about it, the kids in town start doing a relay run to get the red egg thing to Gamera and by the time the main kid gets it Gamera has been launched into a skyscraper and been stabbed in the ass by the big f*ckin' lizard lord's creepy tongue thing.


The kid rants at Gamera for about 15 f*cking hours while Gamera looks like he's gonna smack him in the face if he doesn't just hand over the red egg thing, then finally it all goes supernova and we get our long awaited typical Gamera show down.

I couldnt help thinking of Big Man Japan throughout this one though. something just kept making me think of that stupid movie. i would love to have seen Gamera have to try and stop two daikaiju mating in the middle of tokyo. that would have been f*cking hysterical.

So anyway, they didnt do too badly with this i dont think. Tsuda Kanji (ju-on, vampire girl vs frankenstein girl, 20th century boys, blood, one missed call series,) plays the kid's dad and he's always great. and the kid is likable too.

this couldve been much worse, *cough* Gamera vs Guiron *cough* and due to the pretty good cast it didnt feel sickeningly cheesy - just enough to stay true to form. massive nuclear turtle form.


i dont think i will ever get sick of daikaiju movies, which is good as i have about 30 versions of Gojira, a few Gameras, and god knows what else. I have way too many movies.

The point is though, these kind of monster movies are great fun and easy to watch, usually suitable for kids, and rarely a waste of time *cough* Guiron's human-eating aliens - never again *cough* never ever again *cough*


I will keep this review brief as i think i am getting a bit of a sore throat. But i will say that it works as a later addition to the saga of the great daikaiju Gamera, though why he bothers to save our asses all the time is beyond me. Didnt we, like, try to kill him a million times and couldnt so we just chucked him in a rocket and shot him into space, and then freaked out when he came back even though he totally drowned that f*cking stupid d*ck of a monster in the sequel for us, and still thought he was gonna fry us all even after he fought a million Gyaos-bat-dragon-things and saved those rediculous kids from that stupid shark and the unbelievably idiotic alien tw*ts who tried to eat them but only got so far as to shave one of their heads - im that is only up to the 70's.


do yourself a favour, after watching the original trillogy, skip ahead. watching Gamera fly through space on strings infront of the windscreen of the kid's accidentally-stolen-rocket-ship-thing - oh god i really cant even - the alien's out fits, and the stoopid american kid, - oh god and the american kid's mother! god i'd forgotten about her - jeez. seriously. just skip Guiron. actually id just skip space monster / super monster whatever the f*ck it was called as well. too many bad aliens again. too much 80's. lets just pretend that didnt happen.

getting way off the point again, but basically yay for them not totally screwing up the Gamera thing by changing it into something it should never be, and yay for them being pretty good at refraining from doing that in general anyway. Good old Japanese film makers.

movie poster:

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Paranormal Activity Dai 2 Sho - Tokyo Night パラノーマル・アクティビティ 第２章 TOKYO NIGHT [movie]

what... the f*ck... and i doing... watching this... on my own... at night...

I watch endless amounts of asian horror films. well, from this blog alone i guess you can tell that i watch movies and drama shows in general almost every day. I don't often get particularly freaked out by films anymore, i can just enjoy ghosty films without being scared stiff. But, uh, well... Tokyo Night was fully freaky.

Someone's genius comment on asianmediawiki about prefering the american counterpart for the 'realism' made me laugh in confusion - what the hell kind of american horror movies does that guy watch?! realism my ass.

The thing that freaked me out about Tokyo Night was likely the lack of music and lack of screaming and lack of stupid over acting - so, uh yeah the so called 'lack of realism' im sure was a cultural ignorance issue as this movie was - i will say again in case it wasnt clear - fully freaky.

Koichi - Nakamura Aoi (beck, hana kimi 2011, shinigama no ballad)

Haruka - Aoyama Noriko (zenkai girl, salaryman kintarou 1 & 2)

What this movies lacks in its cast list length it makes up for in scarey ass atmosphere. I find the set up so creepy - we basically spend the whole film watching these two being filmed while they are asleep; doors creak open and covers move... dear god it strikes right at the heart of anyone who grew up with night terrors or those who froze at the sound of pipes and floorboards.

The movie is made up of Koichi's footage (shot with his unlimited supply of digital cameras - i swear that guy has more cameras than my dodgey city has cctv) at first shot through his main camera, then as ghosty things start to happen, also shot with his secondary stationary cameras set up in the bed rooms.


Haruka comes home from a trip in the US with two broken legs - we later find out she had a car accident - Koichi (Haruka's younger brother) has to look after her as their dad f*cks off on a business trip overseas.


After going to bed one night, with no abnormal events to suggest the likelyhood of the impending nocturnal paranormal activity, Haruka's wheelchair ends up half way across the room by morning. Koichi freaks her out a little by supposing it may be ghosty reasons and pours salt on the floor to see it if will disperse over night. At this point you dont really like either of them very much yet as all they do is whinge at each other and we have had no character development to explain anything. It works well because you are drawn into the idle conversation and behaviour - almost forgetting what type of things are about to happen.

We watch chunks of this night time footage from the rooms over the course of the movie but it isnt appropriate to get bored a look away - these are the best bits. As the clock counter rolls on we see it speed up (Koichi is fast forwarding through the video to show Haruka) then it returns to normal speed and you think oh god, ok, that means something is about to happen any second then, if he's slowed it down to show her... so your eyes dart about from the door to Haruka in bed, to the curtain, the mirror, the door again - is anything moving? is there a ghost? waiting... waiting... OH GOD the door is opening...

and breathe. that was it. we are now back to the other camera where he is talking about b*llocks again and she is all grumpy. It goes on like this for a while, which doesnt sound scarey but that video footage is way creepier than seeing actual ghosts and stuff.

over the main portion of the movie we see the door fly open, a glass smash, and Haruka get dragged off the bed by her hair - that was nasty. Koichi runs around with his camera a lot (sort of using it as a torch) and it becomes a little bit blair witch project. except actually scarey.

 If you are into blood and gore and long haired girls crawling out of the tv to eat your face, cut you up and sew your limbs back on with vampire-blood-animated screws... then maybe you should watch something else. I like that stuff too but this movie was made for everyone who ever had that feeling that they heard someone come into their room but was too scared to turn over in bed to see, for those who get creeped out being in the house alone at night, and for those who still jump when things go bump - even in the daytime.

to get the screenshots for this review i had to watch the movie a second time (the next morning) and i was still really freaked out by the look and feel of it all. i still jumped at the few sudden im gonna make your heart leap out of your throat moments, but mainly just waiting for something to move in her room while Haruka was sleeping... that was proper creepy.

I dont think you really even need to like either character much - it is the atmosphere that pulls you in. It is by no means the most intriguing or aesthetically interesting film in the world, but it does feel subtle enough to be realistic. That is the thing most horror films dont have, that realism is usually pushed away by the epic musical score or overactive sound effects, the constant explanatory dialogue, and behaviour from the characters that you just cant imagine yourself doing in that same situation. 

Tokyo Night doesnt have any of that. The characters are both suitably normal, they dont really know what's going on so they dont explain endless amounts of plot out of nowhere, there isnt mch screaming or running about, well she cant even walk until - i'm not even going to say anything about that actually, its so f*cking creepy i dont want to spoil it, i was hiding under my covers.

I had to watch an episode of boku to kanojo no xxx afterwards to break out of severely freaked out mode - it worked really well actually. It is completely stupid enough for a good change of pace. It reminded me of the first time i watched Steven King's Misery when i was a kid; I turned over after she hobbled the guy and watched some crappy football match for like an hour.

I like that it isnt a savage movie. it plays on the paranoid thoughts you have in the night. I wouldnt advise watching it when you live out in the middle of nowhere on your own like me. I was so thankful for having my dog with me that night - and also having speakers. no music to sleep to would have meant no sleep for me.

This movie is not the sort of horror you want to get all your mates over for. There is no real epicness to it that would make it approriate for communal viewing. but having said that, im not gonna watch it alone again. This is a one to show to one of your friends when neither of you have to go home to an empty house afterwards.

Watch with an open mind, forget about all the asian horror stereotypes you may want to see, dont expect silent hill type monsters at every turn, and you may enjoy this movie.

movie poster:

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secret 不能說的‧祕密 [movie]

its enough just to watch Jay Chou play the piano throughout - i'm content.
but it is a lovely film as well.

cast:
Xiang Lun - Jay Chou (the green hornet)
Xiao Yu - Kwai Lun-Mei (all about women)
Qing Yi - Alice Ceng (so i'm not handsome)

Jay Chou discography link

This movie has the most beautiful soundtrack of songs composed by Jay Chou and Thai musician Terdsak Janpan, and it forms an enchanting backdrop to this quiet but slightly oscure story. I hadn't seen a Jay Chou film for a while so,  when my laptop broke and i had to resort to watching films on youtube, comming across secret [which was actually directed and co-written by Chou as well] was a blessing. I should at this point apologise for the terrible screen shots from youtube [broken laptop is killing me]

The story hints at ghosty possiblities throughout but you're not really sure of the reason behind the female lead's mysteriousness. You spend your time wondering if she is a ghost, is she dying, is he crazy, or is she crazy, but you have to wait. Just let it answer your questions by the end and give up trying to work it out. Just enjoy their sweet interaction and the beautiful music.

So, the male lead Xiang Lun is played by the wonderful Jay Chou, who i think is just about one of the greatest people in the world. His musical skill is phenominal - we all know that, and his acting is natural and so easy to watch, i also love the way he speaks; his soft subtle laugh and smalls sighs through his words always make me drawn to him and i find myself smiling at his words even when they are not particularly funny. He just is sort of gently funny without really needing obvious comedy to push it through.

I don't think I had seen Kwai Lun Mei before but as i cant get on drama wiki at the moment i cant be sure. She was very interesting as Xiao Yu, full of depth and ambiguity. I would be happy to watch her in other things.

Alice Ceng Tseng Tzeng however you f*cking spell it, i recognised straight away from being in the the first Taiwanese drama i ever saw so I'm not handsome, she was a nice addition to this movie, always poised and pretty. I really like her for some reason and hope i come across more things of hers in time.

Xiang Lun's dad, played by Anthony Wong Chau Sang, is a bit of a fruit loop, his scenes are usually pretty funny. The interaction between Chau Sang and Chou is really sweet. Rapper Devon Song and piano prince Zhan YuHao of Nan Quan Mama also feature in the film - YuHao has a fantastic duelling pianos scene with Chou which shows off both their rediculous abilities. makes me sick. but i love that bit. (^_^)

Xiang Lun starts a new school where he is all mr gifted pianist guy, meets Xiao Yu who is all crackerjack mysterious girl with no friends, and basically that is all there is to it. Xiao Yu is a character hard not to love, if you like the weirdoes - which i do, Xiang Lun adores her from the very beginning but there is something not quite right about her. As i said earlier, my first thoughts were that she was a ghost or dying or one of them was crazy. In a sense i feel like all of the above is true in one way shape or form. But it isnt as it suggests. You will just have to watch to find out. either that or read my spoiler rant at the end. I have to put it in because some people didnt get the end as they obviously phased out and missed the point.



So what can i say about this before i go on to explain away the ending to those who misunderstood... I don't know really. besides the great cast and lovely story i guess i could mention the aesthetics. The feel of the movie wasn't only dictated by the score, the imagery was lovely too. I watched it on youtube so it wasnt the best quality but even so i could still see how pretty the setting was and how intriguing the effects were when it all goes mysteriously surreal and time warped.


The school is a stunning building, there are some nice touches with the places the pair visit (her rooftop garden for example), all in all a very beautiful looking film. It isnt very long i dont think, at least it didnt feel long. And i think i could happily show it to most people i know - maybe they shouldnt watch it with me though because i will just ureshii squee about Chou whenever he starts playing the piano.

It is fairly ambiguous and unexplained, which i like, and feels kind of sad and bittersweet. But if you actually get the ending you will probably smile.

spoiler explanations under movie posters.

**spoiler rant**
ok, for those who didnt get what happened there [i'm not actually b*tching about that at all, to be fair it is kind of easy to miss] when he manages by the skin of his teeth to get back to her, he walks as she did; with his eyes closed in the hope she would be the first person he sees (so she will be able to see him) and finds her in the class room. she doesnt remember him [presumably he has gone back to before she went forward] but there's no stopping fate when it comes to movie love and that last picture shows her smiling graduating from school as she never manages to do first time round in our timeline. he is not in the picture because no-one can see him but her. but she is happy as she has him with her. the point is that he loved her so much he went back to her even though the only person who would ever be able to see him for the rest of his life would be her. now if that aint sweet i dont know what is. such a lovely film. i actually was glued to my screen when he played the old piano that last time - so tense!

so thats it.

Jay Chou - Secret MV

  

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