*possible spoilers*
it wont ruin it though - its too much terrible geniusness to be ruined by the likes of me.
this movie is meant to be this way - let me put that straight.
it was made in 2008 but it feels like those late 80's early 90's american horror films
like the leprechaun, childsplay or braindead. moments even reminded me of gremlins.
although there has been a recent boom in the genre (machine girl etc)
i dont often see this westernised, almost spoof like, sort of gore fest horror film from japan
but there is a whole world of these movies from asia
- youre not limited to creepy ghosts or twisted torture in the least.
tamami stars young actress
mizusawa nako (sotsu uta - story 3, 3nen B gumi kinpachi sensei - series 8)
as the lead yoko - a 15 year old girl returning to her family after having been
living in an orphanage for almost all of her life.
the house she returns to is seemingly feared by all and sundry
even her taxi driver fakes a stall and leaves her to walk in the rain
to avoid driving all the way into the grounds.
she meets a stern house maid and a loopy mother (gone mad through losing yoko as a baby)
and her loving father who is often away with work.
getting attacked left right and center yoko soon realises there is some weird-ass thing
running around in the house that no-one will admit is there.
father blokey could have easily sorted this whole mess by
killing the damn thing when he had the chance
but instead bundles it up in a bag and throws it in a river. clever.
it can kinda fly for some reason. doesnt appear to have any legs. and has a massive hand.
i dont know why.
it is supposed to be a baby - sort of - im guessing her sister - a mutant twin anyway.
they suggest this much once or twice
but god knows why it can f*cking fly.
it lives in the attic and air ducts or something - having the full run of the house
like something out of children under the stairs
- actually now ive said that it kinda reminds me of that movie.
the thing that got me about this mental piece of weirdness they call a film
was suddenly seeing takumi saito randomly turn up.
(princess princess d, vampire girl vs frankenstien girl, robo geisha,
chase, boys love, itsuka no kimi e, and every other boy love film under the sun)
you dont get a good look at him at first but i could spot that mouth a mile off.
he makes a grand entrance by leaping off a tree over an electric fence
no context given to why he did that or who he is
and thats all we see of him for 30 minutes or so.
i spent that while thinking *it was him - i know it was
but what is he doing in a film like this?*
mind you, he seems to like being in weird stuff.
then yep - right at the cliff hanger moment
he pops up and saves the day - so f*cking cheesy i nearly died.
then he runs off again after being crazily intense about saving his lost brother
(there is a reason for him saying about that - its relevant i just cant be f*cked to explain)
and then pops up again later to bust a door down and save the day
only to get slightly chopped up a bit by a swinging guillotine blade -
and not bleed to death i might add - he pops up yet again to save the day
by yanking girlie out of the well for a second time in a row
all indiana jones stylee - no idea where he got the strength from - but never mind.
ok, so this weird mutant baby thing.
uh,
it was supposed to be a 15 year old girl i think?. looked more like chucky road kill.
every time you see her she looks like a different size - no expense spent on the
continuity throughout this film. when she crawls under yoko's duvet
she makes a mere head sized lump under the covers. brilliant.
this movie is so weird. its a good job i grew up watching movies like this
so when it went all children under the stairs - chucky - gremlins kind of weird
i was only surprised as i wasnt expecting it - i didnt just write it off as a piece of sh*t.
i was surprised though as it starts off like a normal ghosty film,
just with - what i thought at first was - bad acting.
turns out it wasnt bad at all - at the point where we first see tamami
i realised ah its one of these type of films.
what a stupid movie.
saito takumi continues to make over the top horror flicks with a straight face
he's a genius i dont know how he does it.
knowing there is this whole other side to asian horror i might seek out
some more of these awful films. i suppose they were the starting point that led to
the evolution of machine girl and those sorts of gore fest movies.
but this was made in 2008 so it was hardly an early one. im guessing the earlier ones
are even worse. the same as with american movies of the same ilk.
ewwok, so its a creature feature style cheesy over the top stupid horror
with some random gore, hammed up acting
and a sh*t mutant bitey baby that makes rubbish squeaky noises and giggles alot.
...(who is really meant to be a teenage girl)
...uh...
ah f*ck it, horror films werent made to make sense.
and now its 1am so im going to bed.
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