Maru your face is so epic I may die. Your furrows of worry are the best.
Maru’s furrows = Marrows.
Ok the only reason I watched this was for Masuda Takahisa’s awesome face, I swear it was the only thing keeping me going. It was terrible and brilliant then terrible then brilliant again. I think I will go with it being brilliant, but believe me it was still very terrible.
The painful constant monologue, when people were in desperate need of saving, was frustrating and excruciating. Over and over again. But I guess it made it funny too. Nakamaru Yuichi has the most awesome concerned eager face in the world. Maru your face is epic.
He actually didn’t stop shouting throughout the entire program. It was geniusly funny in ways I’m sure they didn’t intend – ah maybe they did. Who knows. The writers of this show seemed to be off the f*ckin’ planet anyway.
This is bound to be a pointlessly unhelpful review and you probably won’t understand a word I say as my memories of this series are too wrapped up in jokes inspired by the dire melodrama to make much sense. I will try to be coherent.
Maru plays Kitajima Daichi – god only knows how I can possibly describe him accurately to you. He is like a small puppy with all the enthusiasm of a girl scout trying to save her grandma, with only love and cookies, from a bulldozer.
Massu plays Tezuka – Daichi’s best friend, another lovely little puppy with a cute worried face. I love watching Massu trying to look like he is having a hard time doing sit ups and chin ups and stuff when you know really he could sh*t all over everyone when it comes to that stuff.
These two are firemen. Yup. In silver News / Kat-tun-esque suits. So, everyone feels right at home then. But fire fighting is not enough for them, nor is the silver. They want to become part of a special rescue unit called the super rangers パー！and use said girl scout determination to undertake arduous training and become super-special-mighty-morphing-orange-eito rangers.
Or something like that.
We have lots of familiar faces for the other recruits, including Daito Shunsuke (fujoshi kanojo, tumbling, nobuta o produce) Yamamoto Yusuke (atashinchi no danshi, tumbling, rinne no ame, hana kimi) Ishiguro Hideo (gokusen, kamen rider den o, 1 pound no fukuin, Princess princess D)
here is them all staring at the sky for some reason:
Even baka Sato Jiro is in this series being his usual mental self. It isn’t right without him. I’ll say again what I have said before. He should be in every series ever made.
Rescue is full of shouting, disobeying orders, bringing personal issues to the pot, being irrationally angry at everyone else, sudden half naked chin ups in a restaurant/bar, main characters dying left right and centre unnecessarily because the rescuers all monologue instead of dig them out of the rubble, and lots of the super-happy-ninja-orange-eito rangers stopping to stare at fire as if they have never seen it before.
Aside from the writers having not done a great deal of research into things that cause fire and therefore made believable scenarios it was the usual *things go bang and woosh fires explode and things fall down* and then super-orange-special-awesome-ninja-eito rangers rush in to save the day, or to stop to bring all their personal issues to the pot, or just to look shocked at fire for 20 minutes.
There were lots of great bits that made me think *ah this is why it was so popular.* Then with the frustratingly sh*t bits I was carried through my Massu’s amazing face which I would be distracted by even if zombies were sprouting up from the ground and turning into flowers as Johnny Kitagawa road passed on a Tegoshi’s pink elephant spraying magic zombie flower potion onto the dribbling hoard from the trunk.
The most brilliant part was probably Maru’s furrows of worry. Every time something serious was happening I was curled up on the floor laughing at the Marrows on his forehead so prominent you could wash your laundry on them like a wash board.
Actually, Maru come here a minute, let me borrow your forehead for a bit, I’ve got some socks I forgot to put in the wash last time. Just don’t let Roro near it, he’s murder with a wash board; he’ll ruin your washing and charge you for it. ...hang on, theyre all at it.
Anyway. Back to the f*cking point. What is the point? The super-special-needs-orange-eito ranger guys having existential crises every time anyone was hurt or was scared or breathed. It was relentless and infuriating, then became brilliant, then plain frustrating, then kind of insulting that we were expected to go along with that sh*t, then it was brilliant again. I was very dizzy by the end of it all but those two weirdoes kept me going. How wonderful to have Maru and Massu in a series together with the most worried expressions anyone could muster.
I don’t know what else to say, clearly nothing else stuck with me but Massu’s general awesomeness which I already had such a problem with I have had to seek help from an addicts anonymous helpline, and the epic Marrows that I had no hope of accurately capturing in the screen shots. It was worth it in hilarity value on that alone. More team NakaMassu please. It makes the world a better place. I’m sure there were meant to be lots of heart warming and soul searching moral messages in this series but when the orange NakaMassu power rangers – I mean eito rangers – I mean super rangers descend all I can do is laugh. What a stupidly great program. Or greatly stupid. Maybe both. Yeah both.
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